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Free bees! Real ones!

March 15, 2011

I have been driven to distraction by those infuriating adverts for [large tax-dodging mobile phone company who KEEP FUCKING CHARGING ME FOR INSURANCE I EXPLICITLY SAID I DIDN’T WANT…. .sorry, got a bit carried away there…..] with the cutesy bees and their irksome implications that female bees are ditzy and shallow for wanting to talk to their friends (unlike male bees who obviously only use their mobile phones to talk about very important and serious things like Heidegger and pure maths, never, say, football). The other assumption underlying these adverts is that giving away free bees is such a ridiculous, preposterous idea* that no-one would ever do it.

Which is not true! These people are giving away bees to community projects, if you apply by 21st March and if you are a Capital Growth site. How exciting!

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* Not to mention that one of the bees thinks it would be totally cool if people were giving away free bees. Poor soul. He is complicit in his own oppression. Advertisers, are you trying to normalise the exploitation of bees by humans?! Actually, there is precedent for this in literature. A whole cultural narrative about bees making honey for us because they are industrious and selfless, not because, like, we keep them in hives and steal their food. I can quote poetry to prove it.

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